pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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