Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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