please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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