haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
