the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
