just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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