How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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