do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
