All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
