I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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