it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
