you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
