I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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