i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
