we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
