don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
