I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
