a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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