his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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