If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
