the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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