Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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