I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
