I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
