They should really pass out barf bags in church
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
