i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
ugly people sure do ruin things
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
