Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
