Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
