Your mouth is God's brothel.
its not stalking. its research.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
