what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
