it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
