Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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