and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
