i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
