can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
