I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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