I must be too annoying 4 u.
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
