Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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