I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just want nice things and good sex
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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