All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
