Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
