i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
