i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
