On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
