just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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