getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So much rum. So many feels.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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