I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
