Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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