I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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