(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
