I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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