I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
